What are you going to do on your birthday in America - all your friends are at the other side of the pond and there is no way to get together and throw a party. That is why, after some thinking, we decided to have some fun and headed for Universal Studios.

Our tour started at City Walk - short street with numerous of hops, cafes and all sorts of ads hanging all over the place. This is a good place for the refreshing promenade, excluding weekends and holidays. At that time City Walk is just a huge crowd occupying every single inch of the surface and your walk resembles the push to the exit in the rush-hour subway. But our adventure was happening at ordinary Wednesday, that is why we could walk around freely and enjoy almost empty surroundings. We took a break at Starbucks and went on to our destination - to the Universal Studios entry, with no delays at the box office. We said goodbye to the not-so-small amount of $90 and - go ahead, the world of illusions and attractions is waiting for us…

The best start for Universal tour is the studios review - the open tour bus drives you around and a guide tells a lot of stories about local landmarks, with a few video pieces and, as usual “at your left” and “at your right”. We went through the huge territory with a lot of hangars, where the actual movie shooting is going on, because, as the guide told us, the “natural” shooting is too expensive.

There is a lot of “open air scenery” - it reminds you a big city with a lot of recognizable squares, streets and buildings. We have seen places from the “Beautiful Mind”, “Scorpion King”, “Apollo 13″, “Mummy”, “Mummy returns”; were greeted by “Psycho” mom standing at the “pretty” house window from Hitchcock movie. Our bus went through the couple of hangars and were shown some disaster movies techniques - like falling ceiling with a fuel truck on it, then there was a subway car crash and fire (we could feel the real heat); finally - the subway was flooded with the immense waterfall which almost washed us away. By the way, it is not a very good idea to take window seats in that bus - you have a chance to get a really cold shower. And, of course, we could not miss the peaceful lake with a famous “fish” from “Jaws”, and the real jungle with cars and buildings from “Jurassic Park”, and a small pond where Apollo-13 “landed”. Well, illusions, illusions…

This whole thing is spread around the 415 acres of a land. You can have a trip around the world in an hour and travel through the time. The bus is moving from the dusty southwestern town to the ancient Egyptian square with magnificent temples; then - to New York circa 1930s, Wild West era street, through the lake (the water actually gives way to the bus), to the green hills and nice countryside mansions of Victorian England.

But the most interesting part is - live studios, where you can see working people among curious tourists, riding small electrical vehicles, unloading huge trucks, buildings scenery or just zapping around in the last-model sport cars… All this buzz produces hundred movies a year. You can even recognize a few faces - dream factory never stops….

Next stop on our schedule - attractions, and first of them - “The Mummy Returns: Chamber of Doom”. At the labyrinth entrance you can look at the TV monitor featuring images of scared people crawling down the corridor. Above the screen - two big buttons - “Water ” and “Mummies”. Push the button and something jumps out of the wall or they are sprayed with water - funny… Well, we went into the labyrinth. There, you feel like you are in the movie - dark corridors with small niches and compartments, mummies are jumping out of the walls, making horrible sounds, scaring you. Gradually, we are getting acquainted with the place, looking around with curiosity, and… suddenly, in the middle of the corridor, something is touching me, I am turning around - there is a live mummy. My scream is deafening Alex’s right ear for several weeks… The scariest creatures, as usually, are human beings, they are hiding in the most surprising places and scaring me so much I am grabbing Alex’s arm and starting to crawl down the corridor (looks familiar…). Mummies are jumping, the water showers us from the ceiling, and you start hating that TV+buttons idea. Finally, we got to the hall with pharaoh guards, they look like statues. We are looking around, the place appears to be safe, and we ran ahead. One of the statues comes to life and tries to catch us - we are breaking the world record running to the end of corridor. There is a spider web hanging from the ceiling, invisible in the dark until you hit it with your face; and, again, mummies, just peacefully hanging on your way, and you ask yourself - what they are actually made from? We are trying to merge with the walls - leaning on them and pushing forward… suddenly, something leans out from the wall and tries to catch our feet - this is too much! Like in the any good game, there are exits in several points of the labyrinth, there are employees at all exits (wearing very strange dresses but at least friendly) helping people to get out of this nightmare. We were hesitating for a moment but finally decided to proceed to the bitter end. Russians never surrender …

We got to the roomy hall with a lot of mummies and movie characters, hanging on the ropes and probably trying to escape, with a shaky rope bridge over the gap. We made it over the wildly dancing bridge, avoiding a few monsters jumping around. Stopped to take a deep breath, we spotted the group of short creatures running to us over the bridge. Alex steps ahead for the final battle - the enemy pauses in the middle of the bridge to regroup. After a few confusing moments enemy turns out to be a bunch of Japanese tourists who entered the place after us and were just moving quicker. Everybody apologizes and we let them go ahead of us - minesweepers… We never saw them again.

We ended up in the mirror labyrinth, actually in the full darkness. I think, one of the childhood fears is to look into the mirror in the dark room, the fear to see something right behind you. You can imagine what kind of picture was in those mirrors… I have a patchy memory for the rest of the place - Alex quickly dragged me, semiconscious, to the exit. I can barely remember a strange-looking dwarf wrapped in rags, throwing human bones on us. Finally, we made it to the exit - well-lighted corridor with huge Anubis statues and a nice lady calming us down and showing a way out. Alex steps out through the door, I could feel some suspicious movement behind my back, turned around - on of the Anubises was chasing me. I have jumped out screaming like never before. Outside, I almost hit a Japanese tourist who was sitting on the steps. We managed to make it to the nice bench in the middle of the European village with no monsters, with shining sun and normal people. Well, we thought, they at least do not have those nasty bugs from the movie…

After the refreshing break and with our heartbeat back to normal, we are proceeding to Terminator 2:3D™. There are convenient screens all around the Universal Studios theme park with the starting time for all attractions. Terminator show takes place in the big theater and the most impressive is, of course, the 3D image. The technology is still there - you have to wear a pair of glasses. I have been to such a theater before - main effects were flying butterflies and birds; and you can imagine what would fly in the Terminator movie… The action starts on the stage, then moves to the screen, actually, to three screens. We had to turn our heads trying to follow the characters, who were jumping from the stage to the screen and back; and could smell the powder and see the flashes during the shootout, so we were actually a part of the action. The chairs were moving and even jumping a little, during the movie, almost unexpectedly. We wished we could watch all Terminators in that theater.

Our last attraction - “Back to the Future…The Ride”. In the small booklet we were given at the entrance, there were starts marking this attraction “spicy”, not recommended for young children and sensitive people. There were no stars beside the Mummies attraction though… Having the experience of dark labyrinth, we are expecting some kind of setup. “The Mummy” survivors are easily recognizable in the crowd, they are looking around suspiciously and trembling at the sound any rustle. But this one was just a relaxing journey for our tired nerves. Nobody scares anybody, you just get into the time machine, like in the movie, and fly… The flight starts above the streets and square of the Hill Valley, where the movie events take place, then - to the volcano crater, and, finally - to dinosaurs. We liked that a lot, especially the feeling of real flight.

Of course, there are more attractions at Universal Studios. There are a lot attractions for children, Water World (you want to go there in the summer - you are usually wet from head to toes after it), Spider Man Rocks!, Jurassic Park…The Ride! And many, many others. We still remember a small courtyard with tables and striped umbrellas a-la Paris and a street with tiny buildings and shops, where the “The Bourne Identity” was shot.

We have finished our journey into the world of illusions relaxing on the neon-lighted City Walk and a dinner in some cafe. It was a pity - it all ended so fast and the next birthday is a year ahead…

Los Angeles, October, 2002